There are different situations that lead a person to care about their image. One of them is motherhood. Whether during pregnancy, the first months of the baby, or even up to adolescence, mothers are constantly faced with changes in appearance and questions related to the role of a mother. It is a reality that is far from easy to accept for a new mom who wants to maintain her image and well-being.
The physical changes
The rounding belly is one of the first physical changes of pregnancy. However, even though we know perfectly well that our belly will grow over the months, we cannot guess what our own reality will look like. Such was my personal experience as a mother. There is no way to know if our pregnancy will unfold the same way as that of our mother, cousin, or aunt. Guaranteed surprise!
Non-conformity occurs when we do not identify with this new figure that has characteristics that are unfamiliar to us. In my case, if I had enjoyed a beautiful bust with motherhood, I admit I did not assimilate my weight gain with the same cheerfulness.
What to do in this case? The first thing is to accept reality, to accept this new image of oneself and not to see it as a fatality. Save energy to try to improve your situation while going at your own pace and avoiding comparing yourself to others. Once you have become aware of this new reality, do not hesitate to seek appropriate help. Because a mother who is well is beneficial for the well-being of her children. It is anything but vain for a mother to want to feel good in her skin. As the saying goes: "The most beautiful woman in the world only gives what she has."
The need for approval from one's children
While a mother's altered appearance can disrupt her perception of reality, the fear that her children will reject her or the absolute desire to be accepted by her children can also be a source of anxiety. Children are capable of forming their own opinions. Therefore, it is essential for every mother to have enough self-confidence to detach from her children's viewpoints and accept her personality and uniqueness. Because it is so easy to fall into a dependency dynamic and constantly seek her children's approval. Believe me, I have assisted clients who found themselves in this kind of situation. Why am I telling you this? First, because this mechanism sets in slowly and without warning. The result? Many mothers end up losing confidence in their tastes and need their children's opinions and approval. This can range from their clothing style to a lifestyle that does not suit them. All with the sole purpose of pleasing their children to the point of forgetting their own personality. If you need to redefine your style, you can count on me. (Insert hyperlink to my services page for individuals)
The collective judgment
In my childhood, I remember hearing many comments such as "a mother cannot wear such clothes, a mother must do this or that"... These statements feed what is called the collective image of what a mother should represent, a fictional conception that has been created for this maternal figure. However, each mother is different and does not necessarily fit the stereotype. Because each mother has her own story and each can react differently to the same reality.
Over time, society (including family members) promotes standards that weigh on mothers and do not value their efforts enough. It is not uncommon for us to find ourselves forced into boxes that are too generic or too specific. If you find yourself in this situation, I recommend listening to your heart and following your intuition. Assume that every mother wants the best for her children and wants to give them the best of herself. Be proud of your efforts and accomplishments to maintain peace in your heart and mind. And with every step you take, stay true to your convictions.
The final score
Oh! You might tell me that there were missing style tips in all of the above 😁. Yet, we are working on it tirelessly. Because to feel good in beautiful clothes, beautiful necklaces, and makeup suited to one's features, self-confidence comes first. Having style is primarily about feeling good in your own skin. This is the most difficult part of style, and it is what will give character to everything you wear afterwards. All of this reminds me of an old saying from the Dominican Republic. It's not the clothes, it's the hanger which means it is not the clothing, but rather the supportContinue to take care of yourself in all areas of your life and know that when it comes to fashion, I am here for you.
Are you ready?
Bonus: The Spanish version of this article was published on @Ohmagazine in the Dominican Republic.
